The competition scene in Jiu Jitsu has exploded in popularity but how do you know when your child is ready to put these budding skills to the test? Children will begin to look relatively comfortable on the mats between six to twelve months of regular training time. At this point, kids should begin to develop an awareness of basic positions, transition through the hierarchy of pins (mount, side mount, back mount), feel confident with a couple takedowns (if they are practiced regularly in class), and lastly, identify and attempt basic submissions on classmates.
How should a parent approach this situation with appropriate preparedness? How can parents make a child’s first tournament a positive experience? There are no definitive answers as all children are unique, however, I have brought together some pragmatic tips from my own experiences teaching children at Authentic Jiu Jitsu Calgary as well as competing, coaching, and observing at tournaments for the last 15 years that will help avoid some potential pitfalls.
Tip #1: Test The Waters
Speak to your child’s coaches and ask if they think your child is ready to compete. If you are attending a BJJ school you will need to learn to trust the coaches who are spending significant time on the mat with your kid(s). In other words, you will need to listen to and take their advice seriously. If you feel like you do not trust the coaching team to make these significant decisions; you may need to find another school where this is not an issue. The primary professor of the club is its most important asset and this individual will not only guide the culture and curriculum of the school but also their insight and experience will set the trajectory of your child’s development. With this in mind, be mindful of choosing a quality Jiu Jitsu school so you can feel good about trusting the instructor’s history, teaching experience, and perspective.
Attend a tournament as a spectator. Nothing is more disheartening to witness than a child being sent into a situation that they have not been prepared for and will likely be shell shocked regardless of the outcome of their matches. There is a significant difference between rolling in the comforts of a Jiu Jitsu school versus a strange place that will also be full of strange people and more importantly, strange energy. Taking your child to a tournament will allow them to see and feel what they will be experiencing in the near future and as a result will better prepare them for their upcoming experience; consider it a session of exposure therapy.
Listen to your child’s perspective and this will help identify if your aspiring Jiu Jitsu athlete is interested in moving forward with a competition experience. This is the most important aspect of testing the waters: the decision rests with your child. If your child wants to commit and take on this kind of challenge they will, if they don’t, they won’t. Respect their decision either way because at the end of the day, they are the ones putting it on the line.
Trust your instincts and stray away from forceful coaches that are preoccupied with boosting tournament registration numbers and counting team medals versus the actual long term technical development and safety of their students. It is better to have your child be over prepared and confident versus under prepared and anxious; any coach that cares about their students won't dispute this fact.
Tip #2: Be Prepared
Know the rules. Potential frustration can be avoided by studying the rules of the competition before you arrive at the venue. If you have any questions about rule sets (IBJJF vs. Sub-only rule sets, single elimination vs. round robin tournament structures, weight classes, etc.) be sure to ask your child’s coach. Additionally, tournament promoters are usually available via their website or social media handles to answer any questions you may have. You are paying the promoters for a service after all, in most cases they will be happy to answer any inquiries you may have about the event.
Be sure to bring proper equipment on the day of the tournament. Bring the same essentials you would take to a Jiu Jitsu class (club uniform (bring an extra gi just in case), sandals, water bottle, and mouth guard (if your child wears one)). It is also a good idea to bring some healthy snacks (in a backpack or cooler) and some camp chairs to sit in. Competitions are often hit with unexpected delays which might alter the tournament schedule which can result in a long day of hectic energy with minimal food and no place to relax comfortably; be prepared to hang out for the day by bringing some items from home.
Be punctual and deal with registration tasks first. Be sure to show up on time (there is no need to be early but definitely don’t be late), register, weigh in, and connect with your BJJ team. Spend a few minutes touring your child around the venue so they know where everything is (the mats, washrooms, weigh in area, bullpen/warm-up mats). This task may be best left to a coach or another trustworthy parent if this is your first grappling tournament or first time at a specific venue.
Set-up a homebase, preferably away from the hustle and bustle of the event. This was a strategy I didn’t pick up until I was many years into competing. Don’t subject youth competitors to the cognitive torture of watching match after match after match; they will be exhausted mentally before they even step on the mats. In other professional sports (especially individual performance based sports) it is rare to see high level competitors hanging out watching their rivals compete before it is their turn to perform. Your child can watch a few matches but focus on managing energy levels, staying optimistic, and hanging out with their team.
Tip #3: You are NOT the coach
Parents need to be a source of comfort. The parent’s only job in this context is to ensure the punctual and prepared arrival of the youth competitor and to serve as a source of support to alleviate anxiety. This will be easier said than done considering you will be anxious (sometimes even more than the child) to see your junior competitor in action. Make it a personal goal to remain calm and composed. Take a deep breath and chill; win or lose your child will have an experience that will build character, confidence, and technical skill.
For the love of everything good in grappling, do not coach your own child. Acknowledge that this is not your arena; parents are better off as quiet supporters unless directed to provide support by a coach. Yelling unhelpful platitudes (“get up”, “fight”, “be aggressive”, “sweep”, “defend” and the worst… “don’t tap”), screaming at refs, berating other coaches, and being a general nuisance not only does the opposite of helping children in their performance, it also embarrasses them in front of their peers and local Jiu Jitsu community. Endeavour to not be the kind of parent that coaches will be watching disdainfully while shaking their heads in disappointment. Unless you have been masterfully concealing a vast knowledge of how to coach at BJJ tournaments or hiding a legit black belt in your back pocket… Leave the coaching to the coaches.
Celebrate the outcome no matter the result of the contest. Often failures are opportunities that lead to immense growth in Jiu Jitsu and more importantly, in life, if the experience is nurtured in the proper way. If failure is punished or seen as unacceptable, a child’s courageous act to jump into a competition will quickly become one of shame that may lead to a hesitation to compete, not enjoying practice, and/or potentially leaving the sport indefinitely. Always remember, if it ain’t fun, the kid will be done. After the tournament, take your child somewhere relaxing (restaurant, ice cream parlour, movie theatre, etc.) as your aspiring young grappler will likely be exhausted and in need of some much deserved family time.
Tournaments are an excellent way to help children develop their Jiu Jitsu and other important qualities such as resilience, confidence, and emotional maturity. Aside from the excitement of a competition and lessons learned on the mats; these events are also a wonderful opportunity for kids to connect with their peers and build positive social connections with others who share the same hobby as them. If all goes well, the child will be psyched to tell their team about the experience at their next Jiu Jitsu class and this will motivate their teammates to also challenge themselves.
Until next time, stay cool, be kind, and keep rolling.
Register for a free trial class at Authentic Jiu Jitsu Calgary: https://www.authenticjiujitsu.com/contactus
Benjamin Kool is a content creator and the head instructor/owner of Authentic Jiu Jitsu in Calgary, Alberta, Canada. Before founding Authentic Jiu Jitsu Calgary, Ben worked in Alberta as a school teacher and is an alumni of the University of Calgary (B.A. European History, B.Ed. Master of Teaching Program).
Website: www.authenticjiujitsu.com
Twitter: @authenticbjj
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